Archive for the Mutterin's Category

Return of the Grazy Layhound [?]

Well, aint this sumfink diff’runt? Me, back again, after sooooooo long off the webby thing, and without training wheels this time. Hee Hee or is it lol? Hummfph, no mind, I is getting ready to re-fire-up me blogg, me dogg-blogg, whatever!

Whassat? What prompted me to get back on the old worldly-webb-netty thing? Ah divvunt knaa, just thought it mite be a good fing, get me out of me two-leggs way for a while, while he’s busybeing the house-hubby type peep. He’s on the brink of becoming a greyhound type hisself, by that I mean he’s gonna become retireded (he’s alreddy a bit re-treaded!). So’s he’s gonna havesome of the thyme stuff on his hands, so he sez - that’s what soaps and water ’s for, innit? Still, we’ll see’s what happens when anti-tension thinngy comes through - Oh, thats what he calls his pension, his anti-tension thingymajigg - whatever THAT is…

Don’t wanna keep you’se all from your two-legg life, has fun and see you at Royal Quays on Staurday…

Do Two-Leggs Have Vets, Too !?!?

Yes, there is a valid point to that heading. My two-legg, the funny looking one with the face fungus, has been back and forth to something called a Dock-Ter! He tries to tell that all is okay, but…

He went to the place where they Free Men, and he came back taking about a cartton dog, of all things, started waffling on about Wallace’s Grommitt, and his left ear. I couldn’t make nose nor tailof that, but he seems to think he has to and lie a puddle of Horse-Piddle or something for a day to see this Grommitt thing with his ear. Can any of you shed any light on what the numb-brain is on about, ‘cos neither the (un)Pretty-one nor Ihave a clue…

Oh, and he says he still has a ring in his head… (my advice would a complete service at the vets, but they only do us real people, and we all know that two-leggsare only animals!)

TTFN, your own spookilly gorgeous, Suki

Well Done, All You Two-Legg Troughers!

Just some of the Happy DinersYes Indeedy, the Nosh4Dosh night at the super Mulinos restaurant on Thursday 28th May, was a Howling(!) Success.

Not only did our two-leggs fill the whole place from 8pm onwards, but they had a fantastic evening and raised over £230 as well. And they got at least one home out of the evening, as well.

If you missed it, don’t feel too bad, cos we wasn’t allowed to go either. But at least you can go along any time you want, to sample the fab food I’m told they serve up there (we only get the Doggy-Baggs).

Infamy, Infamy! - She’s got it In for me

Oh how utterly embarrassing, that LaMaisy creature (short for Lazy Maisy!) crept up on me, left one of MY favourite treats on HER bed, just so that I would HAVE to acquire it in the name of freshness, and while I was so studiously applying my attention to the humane and speedy euthanasia of that (gorgeous, sumptuous, divinely) tasty chocolate bone, the little minx sneaks a quick entry onto MY blogg, well, I mean to say, how very dare she? (I’ll get my own back somehow, you know what they say about revenge, it’s a dish best served cold).

But, to more mundane, earthly matters, what am I going to do with my gentle two-legg with the ringing in his ears. The poor thing has not had a proper night’s sleep in nearly two weeks, now that cannot be doing his health any good, can it? I’ll just have to take him for lots of walks, rub the palms of his hands with my head and shoulders, keep his lap warm with my chin and make sure he drinks plenty of that red stuff in those tall bottles (or the gold stuff!). Whoops, it’s time to oil his skull/head/brain, he has to put this oil in the oiling holes in the sides of his head about 3 or 4 times a day, must be something to do with stopping his two brain-cells from sticking together!

TTFN, be good, and if you can’t - keep it on a leader…

Yoo-Hoo, Its me Agen, innit!

Yep, youse rite, its me agen, innit, the pretty (official) one that is, an that silly batch left the back door open dinn-she (oh “batch”? thats a new word, cross tween bitch and batty- spooks is a batch!), soze here i is, at the ol’ puter, an sheze not! so i can do some of me old stuff, that is rippin the Spooks, ditchin the dirt et-setter-rar, etc! well i can youse rite now, she aint dun nuffin worth snitchin on juss lately, evva since she got this new blogg sheze bin puttin on the hares and graces, or woteva, struttin round like she owns the place, an youse only gotta mench the “m” word (that meatungreet to youse!) an she gets that super-silly-arse look in her eye, sniffs hortilly, an looks the ova way, batch, batch, batch! Opps the beardy-wierdy one wiv the bell in his head (says he can hear a ringing all the time - somefing about a tinny-tass? or somefing) any way he wants to go to the posties office, they stuck this card thing through the door, wiv writin on it, even! so there.  an here comes da batch as well, ttfn, your bestest blogga, Maisy x x x x x

That Was The Week That Was…

So, Okay, the week is “nearly” over, thank Dog! I am so glad it’s almost over, I have had the week from Hell. Started on Monday, after three days of two-leggs eating Chocolate (I’m sure it’s poisonous to them, gives them the munchies - they munch - we watch!) then the conscience thing kicks in and they drag us out for a WALK. It’s in biggy letters ‘cos they walked and walked and walked, and we got dragged along, too. ‘Cording to the map it was over 5 miles. Then they had a pig-nick (thats a nosh at the side of the road were they just pig-out!), then my Alfy Male type two-legg goes and gets a Tin’o'Tuss. Sez its an earring or something, but it keeps him up all night most nights this week, an I cant see anything hanging from his ear. And we gotta stay indoors, cos he got this hang-dog look all day, and he don’t wanna go out.

So the (so-called) pretty one and I have had to pussy-foot around al week (Question: how can a DOG pussy-foot around!?!? - never mind).

Wish me well for the weekend, stuck indoors while the weather gets good!

Spooky…

Noshin’ fer Dosh

Sounds crazy, but my two-leggs tell me it is a sound idea! Goin’ out for a Dosh, to raise some Dosh. Can’t see it meself bu, then, I ain’t got to pay…

They way it works (or so I’m tell’t) is that you two-legg lot get together at Mulinos restaurant on Thursday 30th April, sort of arounf 7:30 pm-ish, have a bit of a nosh, loose a few pennies on the raffles, pour some vino down the neckoand end up puttin’ some dosh in the coffers for us dogs… (Naaah, don’t see it, still - but I’m willin’ to let my two-leggs have go)!

Millies Tail (Well done lass!)

Hi All, just a quick line to put my side of the story…

As it was mothers day, I just thought about buying something for my two-leggs mam. Like the Queen I don’t carry cash and anyway the only place I’m allowed to browse is in the market or a petshop, so I got to thinking - “how about modifying her moccasins?”

So I sneaked them away, and I had just finished making the first one into a peep-toe style when she caught up with me. She wasn’t pleased and she cancelled my birthday party, and I’m only just three. How ungrateful. But she didn’t cancel our holiday.

We’ve been to the Lake District, stayed in a cottage. Of course me and my sister Bella had a lovely sofa all to ourselves, me Mam had to make do with the pouffe, but Daddy had an easy chair. Going out for walkies was a bit scary as there were always two geese  on guard duty, so I hid behind me Mam, and she was bitten, not me. It’s good to be home again though, ‘cos I know the routine and it doesn’t invovlve going in the car boot every day.

Would you Adam -n- Eve It ?

Well, I mean to say, there we were, all out on the market square in jolly old Blyth, having a good womble round the shops, and who should we see, oh, you don’t know, do you. Well, let me tell you, it was that Jess person, the two-legg that ‘does’ for our two good friends, Bella and Millie. And, as if to prove that she (the Millie that is) is a little minx, doesn’t Jess spill the dirt on her? Goes on to tell us (well, to tell our two-leggs, anyway), all about her antics! I mean to say, if moccasins are not on the feet of two-leggs, they ‘must’ be fair game, mustn’t they? I mean, what’s the point of having a product made of (virtually) the  same stuff as a hide chew, if it isn’t for ‘CHEWING’!

Oh dear, Jess, just ‘cos Millie chewed your silly furry leather slipper (that’s all a mock-a-sin is, innit!) doesn’t mean she’s not a good do, well, okay, she may not be the bestest greyhound (that’s me, of course!)- we don’t do ‘chewing - well, the Rosie and I don’t do chewing, not much, not often, not really, not kidding!

See ya soon,

P.S. Millie, tell me your side of the story, and I’ll publish it (you may win a free breath of fresh air! (Oh Wow, we do splash the cash, don’t we ! ! ! )

Hello Mother!

Can yer Hear me, Mother?, Corse yer can! now, the rest on yer, (an Ah’m talkin to’t the four-leggs out there) get yer skates on, and send me the doings on yer two-leggs, snitch on ‘em, bubble ‘em, tell it like it is, an I’ll try to fitt in yer blurb on this page.

All yer gotta do is e-mail wiv yer tails at mutterings@lazygreyhound.info - it’s as easy-peasy as that.

Lookin forward to dishing up some dirt

Crazy Grey, editor in chief and chief biscuit tester…

Welcome to the Crazy, Lazy Greyhound Blogg

Well, would you Adam-n-Eve it, we’ve actually gone and gotten ourselves our own, proper, fully-paid-up, honest-to-Dog, hands-off-it’s-mine, BLOGG

Seems that the wierdo with the beardo got cheddared wiv being messed about by them there public, freebie, type blogg. So he went an jolly well forked out (but don’t tell ‘is missis) and piad for a proppa webby bloggy thing name. So this is it…

A totally, self-contained, stand alone, swinging free, runnin’ -n- jumpin’ website for our own blogg!

Good innit.

An ‘e sez that YOU lot, yeah, you what’s readin’ this blogg right now, can put you two pennerth in here too, seems all you gotta do is nee-mail  your story / tale / confession / snitchin’ / question / what-ever to a nee-mail dress what he sezhe’ll put in the next blogg, an’ he’ll see what he ccan do (he also muttered something about pay-pal or somefin’)…

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